Selective Nurturing

One of the main revelations that I attained from reading Your True Home, by the Vietnamese zen master Thich Nhat Hanh is selective nurturing.

TNH said that every of our emotions are like seeds in our garden, joy, anger, sadness; it is up to us to choose which seeds to water. This applies to our relationships with others also. With those we love, we would want to help nurture each other’s gardens, so that some seeds will flower like joy, compassion, and some seeds will die turning into compost, and give away space for other seeds to grow.

I love that. In the mystery of life there bounds to be dark clouds decending, like the weather in all seasons. But just as there won’t be existence of sunny days if there is no rain, it is the dark cloud decending in our life that often makes us appreciate the endearing side of life.

When we are young, when we love, we put all our hearts and minds in, we want to occupy each other’s space like a storm. But that often is like fireworks in the sky, it is heart wrenchingly beautiful but in the bursts all can get hurt.

With time we learn to take the time, learn to take what the life offers as gifts. The truth is there is of course sadness that permeates our life such as loss of a friend or a relationship, but it does not help to dwell on them. Dwelling is like a storm that pours down and loses its way to the ocean, like an air tight room that offers no room to breathe.

So selective nurturing is like the small inlets that takes water to the ocean, like air making its way to the room through a half sliding window. That is what we need, selective nurturing is not forgetting, it is about being, living, us showing up as the best human being as we can be, and giving life to the best we could and as it deserves.